this is big.

as previously mentioned...
i am "dealing"
i have a tendency to get so wound up, so anxious, so worried. and i just think about all of the things i need to get done, where i need to be, what needs to happen, what could happen. it is ridiculous. and getting out of hand.
but i had a revelation this morning.
maybe not a revelation, but an articulation of something i had recently realized.

i am living my life right now.

radical. i know.
but my life is happening, and i'm just letting it slip by all anxious and worried and forgetting to enjoy and love the moment i'm in.
since Jason proposed, i think, i just sort of recognized this beautiful moment that is right now.
and why should i let it all slip by unnoticed?
i'm engaged to the greatest man on planet earth. i'm learning in a university that i love. i am planning and preparing for a beautiful life, but i'm also living right now.
and i will no longer allow life to simply pass by.

just this morning:
an outfit i feel great in.
rain & soggy leaves smell on my walk to the forum.
freshly painted red fingernails.
oatmeal and cinnamon toast for breakfast.
now hot passion tea in the coffeeshop.

my life is happening right now. and i am loving every second.